i've cracked the code, like such as like.





i've cracked the code.


the big bang theory... the davinci code...  the lost city of atlantis... stonehenge...
these are just a few of history's unsolved enigmas. decades of futile explorations without reasonable explanations, these mysteries have proven to be too much for mankind. 

until now.

ladies and gentlemen, 
with the help of my confidant jkrillz, 
i have deciphered the Miss teen South Carolina speech.




in 2007 Lauren Caitlin Upton, was asked, before a line of judges and thousands of nationwide viewers, why a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Upton, seeing this as her golden opportunity to reach out to the masses, encrypted a powerful message into her answer.  a message she hoped would help provoke insight onto anyone watching.


 if received with intellect
 a message that would help provide the desperately needed change our nation needs.  All Caitlin wanted to do was open our eyes. But instead, we let our decaying apathy overcloud her gracious attempts. We mocked her, and made her endeavors pointless. 


Lauren, I heard your message! 


below is the literal account MSC's speech.
afterwards is my breakdown of MSC's speech. 



"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children".


the decoding.



“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because..."

MSC begins her speech by firstly letting us know that this is her SOLE opinion. not the networks, nor south carolina's opinion. She herself is taking full responsibility for her statements. “I personally believe".  she then continues on saying that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because...". Now, to us this may seem a bit silly. after all, why would anyone say "USAmericans"? why not just "Americans"?. you must keep in mind that AMERICA is not a country, it is a part of a continent. The AMERICAS consist of North America, Central America, and South America. MSC purposely pinpointed that she was speaking about U.S.Americans. United States Americans. NOT Central nor South Americans.


moving on...


"... because, uhhh, some uh people, out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh..."

this is one of the key statements MSC sheds light upon. If you listen closely, MSC encodes the word "because OSAMA" when she says "because uh some uhh". MSC is touching upon the  U.S.'s disheartening  fear of terrorism. she then goes on to saying "some uhh people, out there in our nation don’t have maps". MSC is now touching upon poverty.  Terrorism and poverty going hand in hand. Two chief crucial plights affecting our country. in other words...MSC approaches USA'S fear of terrorism and USA's poverty being some of the many reasons why our education is being hindered, neglected, and deterred.


continuing... 


"... and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq..."

MSC sees hope in our future by joining forces with our allies. She acknowledges South africa as being essential aid in our endeavor for higher education. Sharing not only founding fathers, but also low educational ranks,  South Africa has the sister potential of being U.S's proponent up the ladder of higher academics. Helping one another. "... our education over here in the US should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa,in other words the us should pull together and help south africa, and vice versa, resulting in the a mutual scholastic level.  MSC is proposing the proficient "gym buddy" effect.

Over the years, our media has given us a negative perspective on  iraq, through operation desert storm, sadaam huseein, and shallow stereotypes i.e terrorism. iraq's reputation has been disgraced.  MSC refers to Iraq as THE iraq, purposely giving iraq somewhat of an introduction, showing recognition to a country that we have belittled. She feels we owe Iraq atonement and proposes through laws of war to not only re-build but re-educate The Iraq. inviting them on our quest to higher education.   "... and should help the Iraq...". MSC not only hopes we aid The Iraq, but gradually aid the neighboring countries ie Iran, Afghanistan etc. "... everywhere like such as...".


finishing off...


"... should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children".

MSC by now has recommended collaborating with S. Africa, The Iraq, and now introduces the Asian Countries. Using the term "The Asian Countries" she unbiasedly distinguishes the entire continent instead of ignorantly spotlighting. Seeing The Asian Countries with an exceedingly high didactic rank, MSC recognizes The Asian Countries as a possible mentor, leading the pack into luminous and promising future. "... so we will be able to build up our future, for our children."


Hopefully by now you will an open mind and see that MSC's speech actually makes perfect sense. It was delivered to us for our benefit. we can and will learn from this terrible misunderstanding.

a note to msc:
although your attempt to enlighten us was unfortunately a failure, i hope my recognition and appreciation has not gone unnoticed


and as for my viewers:
thanks for taking the time and such as like reading like such as.

;)

3 comments:

gibran said...

ahhhhh!!! i love it... i award you with the most analytical blog post of the year award...."like such as 2010 award"

M. said...

lmaoo this is epic..

Anonymous said...

hahah this is a great analysis and will def reconsider that blonde whojust doesn't know how to speak
! like such .. lol. good work!
-Lauren