Nicotine balcony thoughts.



Just a thought.

Oh how lucidly conniving the human brain can be. The monstrous empire it creates out of a few grains of sand. The endless oblivion that swallows you whole. Effortlessly vanishing without a trace. Such a dark God like POWER shattering you to scabby knees. your glossy eyes searching those careless skies, amidst a silent scream.  


Oh how robustly promising this dictator of a mind can be. Mentoring you into ruling a wilderness of sparkling dreams. Holding your vulnerable trembling hand while crossing these crumbling streets… The cool wind beneath your shattered wings… Cradling your blanket covered self, into the promised land.  


How insignificant we are to the mind.

Our weapon of mass destruction holding us hostage.  

Free yourself and take the reigns. Grab ahold like it’s the end of days…



Oh the fucking irony.

i've cracked the code, like such as like.





i've cracked the code.


the big bang theory... the davinci code...  the lost city of atlantis... stonehenge...
these are just a few of history's unsolved enigmas. decades of futile explorations without reasonable explanations, these mysteries have proven to be too much for mankind. 

until now.

ladies and gentlemen, 
with the help of my confidant jkrillz, 
i have deciphered the Miss teen South Carolina speech.


you know who you are.

i was awfully mean to you today. i am terribly sorry... <3 these desolate demons i've pushed down deep inside, sometimes get the best of me. thank you SO much for the surprise. its perfect.

dissatisfaction eventually prevails.




new tumblr layout. because i hated my old one. i took about 2 weeks to design/code my old one. this new one took 2 hours. wtf. i was very disgusted wth the amount of pink i added to my old layout. pink overdose gross. i pray and hope i don't get bored of this one. which i most inevitable will. i tried to make it match my blog's layout. like a fucking outfit. i still haven't even finished my blogs layout. ugh. i added a few things here and there. have fun hovering above links ;) i will be adding background music (kinda cheesy but idk) and i will start adding in my "worthy" section in which i will be adding some worthy blogs/websites.

which one do you like more?? yes, i'd love some feedback <3

p.s.
just in case you're wondering what i use to make my layouts:
i ONLY use photoshop CS2 (buy me the latest version plzkthanks)
illustrator CS2
notepad
and alot of html codes that i know by heart or look up.

oh and itunes. for inspirational music. i'm a lame.

ive been dancing with your ghost.







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there ddddde, anxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxd opened wide.
your light...
is the light of ten sunsets.
but there go my eyes...
burned blue, and opened wide...
-saves the day.


tumblr slumber.



stephiesosexy.tumblr.com
or just click here

i worked really hard on this bad boy.
the layout i mean.
my new tumblr layout.
and my new tumblr.
the theme the coding the graphics and the aggressive ocd that comes with my designs.

what sucks the most though, is that i hate it now. has that ever happened to you? have you ever worked hard and long (:::thatswhatshesaid::) on something and when you're done you hate it?

like on a song? or an outfit? or an essay? or a drawing? or a fucking layout? or any project?

you start off super enthusiastic... this then leads on to you being bombarded with ideas provided by the left side of your brain. the creative side of course. then follows these same ideas coming to life! but during this wonderfully agonizing journey of perfectionism, you are constantly VIEWING the progression of your creation. and yeah, you start adding and removing things here and there. but you are still looking at it. alot. 

i fucking hate it. this happens with every design i do. not just layouts either. photoshoots, room organization, displays, playlists, makeup... etc... 

i am my number 1 competitor and mentor. yet i bore myself to death.

eh. anywhoo i'm still tryna get the hang of this tumblr thing. i will be using it for pics, music, quotes, and such. and i will have my blog for  writing. composing ironic posts such as this one.

add/follow me my hearties!!

New York's Comic Con 2010!!




New York's Comic Con 2010 at long last arrived! after 20 long and dragging months of waiting and anxiously anticipating, new york's comic book enthusiasts finally got the chance to run out of their houses, dress up in the most extravagant costumes, celebrate and rejoice! 

of course, yours truly being a devoted, and captivated ARCHIE COMICS FAN, i ultimately HAD TO attend! oh man i went from a 22 year old to a 4 year old kid in disneyworld with a lifetime supply of toys and candy. wide eyed, jubilant, spending cash like i own microsoft, and non stop smiling, you couldn't tell me NOTHIN!!! i was sweetly accompanied by my good friend Jerrameel.  check it out!

Mobility


Being silly and updating from my iPhone 4. 
Which I will be able to jb&unlock very soon ^__^ 

Overly excited about this.
Using sweethearts wi-fi for now <3

reverse imperialism.



oh, the misfortune of injustice. 

you can spend your  seconds hours days weeks months years decades centuries exaggeratively working hard on creating your hearts desire. but who's to say this robust creation is guaranteed? where is the warranty? where is the gift receipt? there is none.

for the most miniscule, insignificant action can easily and ever so effortlessly demolish your most hard earned achievements and dreams.

it's the heart-wrenching realism of reverse imperialism.

off to comic con i go, vainly attempting to have a better day.

dumbfounded.



Love is the wisdom of the fool, and the folly of the wise. 
-Samuel Johnson

dedicated to my secret admirer...


my latest post talked about how pleasantly surprised i was to see my blog get over 1000 hits in just a week.  a bit after the post was up, i received a very delightful comment from an anonymous visitor:

"sweetheart, i think it's only because you post half naked photos of yourself. sorry, but, you're not terribly interesting otherwise."


well sweetheart... according to my hit counter and YOUR I.P. address, my blog has been viewed from your mac, on YOUR firefox 3.6 browser, over 20 times.

i don't know about you, but i think someone's terribly interested in what i have to say ;)
i wrote this post just for you, showing my huge gratitude for all the 20+ hits you've added on to my blog <33

thanks and please keep coming back!
-half naked blogger

*UPDATE* 

my secret admirer's last 10 activities...



unforeseen 7 day quadruplets




1,000+

that portrait up there is of your mellow faced blogger. and those digits, of the amount of hits my blog has gotten in the past 7 days. i am quite pleased ^__^.  i must modestly admit that i was not expecting this many hits in just a week. now, i know there are alot of blogs out there that get 1000+ hits a day, but most of these sites are pretty dignitary blogs that have been around for quite some time. but my blog is nowhere near that (yet). also considering that i just RECENTLY installed my hit counter, and started blogging almost daily.  i'm just a complacent, html inquisitive, curious aspiring queens girl. ʘ‿ʘ. i have been a bit negligent towards my blog lately. but it's because i have been hooked on this new layout i'm working on. the one everyone keeps stealing screenshots of lol... i love it. ever since i've gotten back into my layouting i have become notably absorbed. i haven't even worked on THIS sites coding smh. still,i can't wait to finish my new layout . its not for my blog though... its for my.......

sneak peak pt II



i love layouting/designing/coding WAY TOO much.
i'd ask you not to steal this screenshot
but i know you will.
i am left with nothing but flattery.

stephiesosexy x alejandro cerdena





I've gone through some recent metamorphosis. both introspectively and physically. the intelectual change surpasses, pleases and fits me best yet. but we'll talk about the physical alterations for now. i've lost 15 pounds in the past month or so, grown out my dark hair, and have embraced a more raw, natural semblance.

this, and recent life lessons,  is what has been considerably motivating me into becoming once again more diligent with my aspirations. and after the shoot i had with a. cerdena my determination has tripled in size.

my recent shoot i wanted to be captured in a very soft, genuine, natural demeanor. this was greatly achieved through a bed/window pane series. then we started playing around with some lighting and went from delicate to d i v a!

makeup and hair by yours truly ;)

stephiesosexy x 21/7 magazine

shout out to my gorgeous friend lonii who is a part of the 21/7 team. she's a sweetheart and posted stephiesosexy on todays 21/7 blog post. check out 21/7 magazine's blog and 21/7 magazine<33

21/7 magazine x stephiesosexy

aesthetic principles.



one of my first shoots. 
about 5 months into my modeling.

morals. dignity. principles. beliefs. integrity. ethics.
every single one means a whole lot to me. these are the main ingredients in a stephanie recipe. regardless of whatever comes my way, i try my best to keep my morals. and one of the most challenging ways to practice this is through my modeling.

i have been modeling for about two years. a gorgeous and good friend of mine not only mentioned but encouraged and showed me how to get my portfolio started. soon enough i was networking my life away with all kinds of photographers/makeup artists/models. from inept rookies to gifted pros. i would shoot up to 5 times a week. eagerly working on my look, experience, and portfolio. eventually i began collaborating with different businesses. from up and coming street wear to world renowned top makeup brands. i only shoot beauty/glamour/editorial. i don't do fashion, being that i am petite. 
plus i feel i am best at beauty anyway.

i do not do nudity. with anyone for anything. i am also extremely careful in how i portray myself in every shot. i try my best to portray grace, taste, and class. while still being able to stay alluring, sexy, sensual, and natural.

i have done implied nudity in the past. after all, one shouldn't deprecate what one knows little about. i see nothing wrong in nude modeling, and look up to many beautiful models who do nude.
 but it's just not for me.

it has only been 2 years so i'm still a baby. and i have a long way to go before i can go from ASPIRING model to MODEL. but i LOVE it. there was a time when certain hardships life threw at me made me cease my modeling all together. but that has long gone now and i have been back on my grind.

i recently have been greatly inspired to start shooting again as much as i can. the 5x a week shoots is what got me the great gigs, which then came with the great opportunities and publicity. 
but it all starts with hard work.

i will be posting up pictures from my latest (and definitely one of my favorite) shoot with the talented alejandro cerdena in my next post.

delirium tremens.


dealing with hangover/regret this morning...
ugh i want my bed.... and a nurse <3
enjoy some hangover myths...



morning mimosa eases a hangover

popping acetaminophen before you go to bed makes morning easier

drinks with fewer calories are always a healthier choice.

eating before bed will absorb the alcohol and mute a hangover

wine is better for you than beer

drinking through a straw gets you trashed faster

if you weigh the same as your brother, you can match him drink for drink

beer before liquor, never sicker

source: women.webmd.com/features/9-myths-about-your-hangover

hot chocolate*






enjoyed a film tonight.
gracious company tonight.
now i am harmoniously collect after an enlightening evening.  openly incognito, recognizing revelations, inconspicuously fulfilled, and other oxymoronic feelings <3.  oh and i recently went aromatherapy candle shopping ;]. now i am woodwick's biggest fan. white buttercream tiny temptations 18oz. sparkling vanilla tea lights. and  sunset beach 10oz. mmm sunset beach... the sweet nostalgia you bring...

grateful.


if i sat here and wrote everything and everyone i am thankful for... i'd be 8 hours late to work back from my lunch break. but there are a few things that have my heart right now more than anything or anyone else.

first off i'd like to egotistically thank myself. thank you steph for keeping your chin up and going through the continuously immense hardships you've had to go through... without them you wouldn't be made out of titanium right now. thank you for being so stubborn, for stubbornness has its advantages. thank you for not stooping down to other people's pathetic levels... but most of all thank you for SEEING your extravagant worth and refusing to lessen it.

secondly i'd like to thank an angel i've been blessed with recently. i don't know what you see in this crazy girl. i don't know where you get your aspirations or determination to guide and anoint my energy throughout the most burdensome days and nights. i don't know how anyone would ever be able to measure your patience. they'd probably have to bring out the scales use to weigh whales in. (jadakiss). i don't know any of this and more. but i know more than anything that you are incredibly appreciated.

and lastly i'd like to thank everyone who checks out my blog <3
wether it be out of curiosity, nosiness, interest, 
concern, inspiration, boredom or even hate.
i'd like ot thank you.

my blogs in its baby steps but i promise to make it full grown. 
i will try in my bestest efforts to somehow inspire or brighten your day with every visit. <3

merci beaucoup.

evollove

my heart belongs to you.
you real man, you.

a man of one face,
not a bunch or a few.
a man of one outlook,
not four hundred and two.
you need just ONE woman
just ONE to love you.

just one to seduce
just one to hold dear.
just one that excites you
just one every year.

when i look at you baby
i'm never confused.
i see only my MAN,
never a boy or a dude.

never a fraud or deceit
never a sham or untrue,
our comfort is priceless
never asking
"who ARE you?".


eternally you.
entirely you.
you feel i deserve it
you feel i've earned you.

your character and values
they never disappear
wether you're single, in love.
wether you're far or you're near.

never would my baby
blindly obsess,
and lust over the ladies
with their provocativeness.

his touch is reserved
along with his desires,
reserved only for me,
i make it worthwhile.

with you, my soul won't turn gray
and my spirits won't fall,
my heart won't be crushed,
your love i'll exalt.

your love i will cherish
your fantasies fulfilled.
i'll do anything to please you
embracing the bond that we've built.


but now i am back to reality
back to real world,
shot down by gravity,
such a foolish, naive girl.

for life has its lessons
and there's one you won't be blind to...
there's no such thing as a true love
so my heart belongs to...
who????

wait a minute...

my blog has become my new boyfriend. this is incredibly sad. well, at least it won't break my heart.

sneak peak.



spending my friday night with pen tools, music and inspirations.
and i wouldn't have it any other way.

needle time!



I can be quite the masochist.


So, i had acupuncture for the first time ever yesterday afternoon. and i must say it was quite the expirience. in my last post i rambled on about how i was on my way to a massage/acupuncture session. i honestly thought i was going to chicken out of the acupuncture. not because i am afraid of needles (i actually LIKE needles... weird i know.) but because my back pains have been dramatically painful and i didn't see how puncturing my aching muscles would help. but to my pleasant surpirse it defintely did. 

wonderfully relaxing, a bit thrilling, and definitely different. my first experience with this traditional Chinese treatment really took me by surprise. now, i am not going to paint a lovely picture and say it was all peachy keen. because it wasn't. i will admit that there was a bit of pain that had to be endured when my masseuse placed each needle all along my back and shins. every prick would spark an involuntary jolt from nervous little me. but after the needles were placed, it was nothing but pure tranquility. 

my back is back in business <3
i am now looking forward to more needle time :)